The Dream

Wow, what a great group last night! Getting to the Dream. I liked what he said, something like, "Look at what it is you can do really well, and then look to see what need there is that you can meet." And the concept that some dreams are about helping me, some for helping others and me, some for others only, and then there is the Dream to accomplish for Him...the Dream from God. This explains the American Idol dreamers who can't sing...the dream is all about them and they don't care to know the truth if anyone else gets pleasure from their singing or not. A God-given Dream is one that He has gifted us to do, and puts the passion to climb mountains, cross rivers and trudge through valleys to get to. Let's get to it!

The beginning of our Dream and Journey to Alter Church Part I

Friday, June 16, 2006

New things on the horizon
Current mood: content

Well, as some of you may already know, there are some new, exciting and scary things on the horizon for Tawny and I. For the last couple years we have been feeling a strong calling to be more involved in our church ministry and to show God's love to everyone we know. For a long time, I heard the call and began to quench the Spirit because I was afraid to let go of the lifestyle I had and the things I enjoyed. As the days went on, the Lord continue to press at me in very subtle ways reminding me of our calling in this world. Our associate pastor at The Rock had recently moved to Frisco Texas and began networking to start up a church/ministry. He came back to OKC one Sunday morning and preached about his calling and vision and how someday he would look back and have a "God story". At the end of the service I was absolutely in tears because the Holy Spirit was on me convicting me about the things He had been impressing upon us for the last couple of years. Somehow, at that point, it all connected. In some way, we were supposed to help out this new ministry in Frisco. We didn't know how, when, in what capacity so we just began to pray about it. It started by taking baby steps and moving in one direction and seeing if God would move and open doors. We began to learn (through advice from friends and through the trials God allowed us to go through) that its all about faith in a situation like that. You must totally rely on God to lead you through the best and worst times and if you He has spoken to you and is leading you in a direction, you must take the first steps (steps of blind faith) and He will then appear and take your hand. So, as the weeks went on we were going down each weekend helping out in Kids Church and other duties around the church, making new friends and discovering God's current call on our lives. We would leave on Sunday afternoons to drive back to OKC and we were just on top of the world. JOY UNSPEAKABLE AND FULL OF GLORY. We decided to step out more and put our home up for sale and begin looking for jobs in the Dallas area and God is beginning to move in those areas as well. We believe in "Walking in Love" and loving EVERYONE unconditionally just as Jesus did. Don't get me wrong, I am one of the biggest hypocrits you will ever meet and in no way am I trying to preach at anyone. I know probably most of you that are reading this I have hurt in someway or showed you the opposite of His love and I ask for your forgiveness right now. I'm a hyprocrit but Jesus' love, grace, mercy and forgiveness heal me and cleanse my guilt and sin everytime I screw up and ask for His help. I have to remember that I cannot live this life alone if I want to stay in his blessings. I must have the Lord by my side and do the best I can. I'm going to screw up on a daily basis!! I know that, if I can't admit that I'd be an idiot. But, holding the principle "Walk in Love" and knowing that is what Jesus did and does allows me to wake another day and go out and try my best, repent when I don't, and try and touch one life on a daily basis. We have had mostly negative feed back from friends and family about the move and that is just plain emotion and the devil trying to keep us from fulfilling our call. Please pray for us in this time as we move to Texas and that God will bless our paths and the people we meet along the way. I love you guys!! Hit me up so we can chat.. J

The beginning of our Dream and Journey to Alter Church Part II

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ok-here comes my heart

Current mood: depressed
Category: but hopeful Life

Well, it has been a hectic last couple of weeks. It seems like the enemy is attacking me in everyway possible. I've learned that whatever strengths you have-the enemy will attack you in the opposite way. For example, I feel I have a soft heart full of compassion at times and the devil knows that therefore he throws anger and hurtfulness and the desire to be critical of others in my face. I really struggle with being angry and critical of myself and others and I've always been that way. It's a constant daily struggle to not get angry and just want to rip someone's head off for just saying the wrong thing to me. Part of that I think is just negative things about my past and part of it is just me not being as strong in God's Word as I should be. It is something I pray about everyday and am looking forward to being free'd from. I was flipping throught the channels last night while trying to fall asleep and I came across Joel Osteen preaching on TBN. Something just pressed me to stay on that channel and listen to him speak even though I would rather shoot myself than watch TBN. So, I watched and his message was something I needed to hear. I've always struggled with low self-esteem and just really not loving myself the way I should. In turn, being dissatisfied with myself, I took that out on other people. If you don't love yourself, how can you love others??? Well, he said, and this sounds kinda crazy to me but its worth a try, that your words are powerful. You can begin to prophesie (spelling) things into your own life just by your words. Speak good things into your life continually and it will come to pass. SPEAK- I am skinny-I am prosperous-I love people-They love me...etc etc... It won't happen overnight but after months and months of doing that it will begin to settle in your spirit and it WILL happen. God wants all the best for us in our lives so if we just speak it and CLAIM IT in Jesus name-IT WILL BE DONE. Believe it!!!! Now, I've never actually tried this for myself and I have to admit at this moment I am very spectical but I'm going to give it a shot. Joel gave many scripture references to back up his message and the Word of God is true-so believe it and claim it.. I am starting this today and I challenge anyone that reads this to try it with me. Please leave me comments on how it has worked for you and lets pray for each other. I need some lifting up right now as I feel so depressed for some reason and I believe God's Word last night was meant for me!! J

The beginning of our Dream and Journey to Alter Church Part III

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Hallelujah

Current mood: exhausted Category: Life

Its official. We have moved to Frisco Texas and started a new chapter in our lives. As said in my previouse rants, we were feeling led to move down here to help work in a church. This has been going on since March and if you know me I've been stressing like crazy about when, where etc etc all of this was going to take place. We felt like we were at the end of our rope with time running out and July 17th the phone rang. I got an interview for a job in Dallas. I had been applying for jobs for months with not one phone call. They wanted me to come down to Dallas the next day for an interview so I did. It went off well and she gave me the job. They were needing someone to start work the following Monday so unfortunately I had to quite the FAA with short notice. Later on the 17th, our real estate agent called and said we got a contract on our house. All is going well and we close on Aug 11th!!! We are all moved in to our apartment and all is awesome. Tawny doesn't currently have work and we are praying about that. Not sure how we are going to have enough money to pay even half the bills but its all in God's hands and we are trusting that He will provide and we KNOW HE WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW, this all happened so fast and I just feel so blessed and worn out all at the same time. Been working longs days and then other things at night so I need some sleep. Anyway, keep us in your prayers for guidance and support and I'll update later. Peace-J

The beginning of our Dream and Journey to Alter Church Part IV

Sunday, January 21, 2007

yada yada yada

Well, its been quite awhile since I've posted on here and alot of things have been going on in my life. Christmas was good. We went back to OKC and hung out with the fam for a couple days. Its nice to see everyone back home but it doesn't feel like home anymore. To be honest, I get there and in about 2 hours I'm ready to come back to Frisco. Funny how quickly your feelings can change. I've lived in Moore for over 26 years and already it seems a foreign place that I never wish to live in again. Its great to see family but other than that my life has moved on from everything that was there for me. Easter will be 1yr at our church. It has been an amazing ride and we are so happy that we made the move. It absolutely changed my life and everything I thought was important and things I enjoyed somehow don't seem important anymore, at all. It feels so great to be apart of something much bigger than yourself. Something God has called you to do. I ran for so long, I was the prodigal son. It feels amazing to actually be doing what God has called you to do. To begin to fulfill that dream he put in your heart when you were a child. I'm still searching for my ministry and trying to increase that and that will be a lifetime effort. I have such joy and peace knowing that I'm where I'm supposed to be. I challenge anyone reading this to turn off the TV, radio and close the door into silence. Begin to cry out to God and ask Him to reveal his call on your life. Chances are you are already fulfilling that call, you just don't know it yet. Your work is ministry-don't forget that. Love people and live like you love God. Don't fret making mistakes. We all are going to screw up royally at times. I totally blow it everyday and by God's grace I can stand back up, wipe away the tears, and continue on. Don't let the guilt of your past or the things your doing today that you shouldn't be keep you from seeking out your dream, your calling in life. Use those negative things in your life, repent for them, and then allow God to use you to help others who are going through the same things you struggle with. It will change your life! I promise! We are closing on our house on Feb 1st. Finally, we get to leave this flippin' apartment. It will be nice to have grass again and not have neighbors below us partying on the balcony until 2 AM. Anyone wanna help us move-I'll bring the doughnuts.... God bless- J

The beginning of our Dream and Journey to Alter Church Part X

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Something I wrote a few months ago I felt a need to post

Hey Everybody,

I wanted to send you all an email and share something with you from my heart. Two years ago or so something absolutely life changing happened to me. My spiritual life was stagnant and quite frankly my personal life was boring. I was so sick of waking up everyday going to work, getting off at 3:30, fiddling around on the computer, watching the new TV shows I liked, going to bed, and waking up the next morning doing it all over again. Don't get me wrong, I was and still am very blessed but there was something in my spirit that was unsettled. After months and even years of feeling that way, I finally began to question why I was feeling that way. What is going on with me? How can I be truly happy again? There has got to be more to life than this!!! I can remember morning after morning driving to work in the dark and feeling so disappointed and defeated that the night before, just as I always did, I watched TV, played on the computer, and had my usual bottle of wine to numb the monotony. I felt so ashamed of what my life had become, living in pure selfishness, that I went for soooooo long without even praying because I felt that my prayers were so stinkin' lowly that they weren't even worthy for God to hear. As you all know, once you feel like you've hit rock bottom, as we all have, there is no way to go but up. God allows us to hit rock bottom because He knows that at that point if we ever wanna stand back up and keep going, we will have to call upon His name to help us. I reached that point one day and began to cry out to God, wondering how my life had gotten to this point. I felt like it had absolutely no purpose whatsoever. I asked God to show me my calling in this life and give me something to do for Him. Morning after morning on the way to work I would pray that prayer and finally began to think that He wasn't listening. I reached that "rock bottom" feeling again that I was so sure I was out of. I remembered a very important person in my life had fasted about a MAJOR life changing issue just a year or so previous to that time. I recalled how things had turned out after their fast and the wise words they had given to me regarding the subject of fasting. I finally decided I was gonna fast. I mean, at that point, I had nothing to lose. I was already at the bottom or so I felt.
When I think of fasting, food is the first thing that comes to my mind. I began to pray about what I was going to fast and food just didn't really fit me or my situation. Sure I like to eat and that would be a big sacrifice but shutting off the "background noise" and spending quiet times in prayer and reading would truly be the best route, so I began that fast on the following Monday. I went into the fast, never having fasted before mind you, not knowing what to expect. How long should I fast? Hmmm… I thought I would just start off on a Monday and stop when I felt I had received the answer I was looking for. Waiting for God to move, isn't that a test on our patience? I came home each evening and sat down on my couch and began to pray and read the Bible and another book I felt led to read. Fast forward to the following Friday and I went to my bed and was lying on my back praying and began to cry out to God the same prayer I had started with many months before, "God!!! Please show me my calling-Tell me what I'm supposed to do!!" Then, in this overwhelming feeling like I'd never felt before, I heard the word SERVE in my spirit. "SERVE SERVE SERVE" God said. WOW-what a feeling that was. At that moment I felt a release from the fast and knew I had received the answer I was looking for. The next morning felt like an entirely different lifetime. I felt like a changed person. I began to seek out ways I could serve people in every situation. The more I dug in and tried to serve others and in turn serve God, the more hungry He made me to serve. He truly gave me a burning passion in my heart to minister to other people and SERVE them in any possible way they might need.
Please don't get me wrong, I don't say all of this as a "look at me-I have a calling and I've discovered the tip of that calling". I say it because fasting made me discover this calling and purpose in life I was so desperately looking for. It made me remove the worldly things that kept me from hearing God's voice and showed God how desperately serious I was about making this change in my life.
How do you know when to pray and fast and when to just pray? That is not a question that someone else can always answer for you. But here is a principle: In God's word we always find fasting connected with a very troubled spirit or a very anxious heart before the Lord. So a reason for fasting is not something you choose on the spur of the moment. Rather the reason is a consuming one. In a sense, it's not something you choose, so much as something that chooses you, because it's that important. Right now, I have an anxious and troubled spirit regarding the community of Frisco and our church. Alter Church is called of God as a multi-cultural, community-focused church with a heart for winning souls for the Kingdom. We need to fast for communities in the Frisco area and for Alter Church. I can tell you from experience, God WILL move, and that's a promise, if we will turn off all the background noise, listen for His voice, and show him how serious we are about serving the community and in turn building Alter Church to what God called it here to be.
God said in Jeremiah 29: 13,14 "When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you." If we are willing to set aside the legitimate appetites of the body to concentrate on the work of praying, we are demonstrating that we mean business and that we are seeking God's Hand to move in our lives, the community, and Alter Church. Stand with us church, pray about fasting and do so if you feel God leads you to, and lets watch God blow this thing wide open!
Love you guys and gals,
Justin 469-236-0116
justinhankins@grandecom.net

enjoying the journey

I feel like God really wants me to share this with everyone....so here goes.
Now that Katelyn is almost 3 months old she is beginning to express herself more which means when she is not happy she'll let you know. She has become quite the diva as she is increasingly fussy. As you know this can make it hard to get things done, as I am a person who makes a list for the day and doesnt feel good unless I've accomplished that list. For the last couple of days I've had to ignore my obsessive need to clean or finish prodjects, and really concentrate on making sure Katelyn is happy. This has made me kind of depressed, as I wonder how long this phase will last. Well, I was laying in bed last night and tuned into TBN (yes, God can use anything for good) and Joyce Meyers was talking about how many people are so obsessed with reaching their goals or destination in life they forget to enjoy the journey. She said that we become frustrated, depressed, or unsatisfied when we CHOOSE to focus on what we need, want, or wish we could do. When you focus on these negative thoughts it allows the devil to steal your joy. It sounds so simple and obvious.....but then why are so many people unhappy and depressed? Right then, I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I thought about how ungreatful I was being to God when he has given me the desires of my heart and beyond. I've been praying for this beautiful baby for years and now I'm concerned about getting petty tasks done?!! Hello! But isnt that the way it goes? So, I decided to really make an effort everyday to CHOOSE to focus on all of the blessings I've been given. I'm going to try and live in the moment and be greatful and satisfied no matter what. I want to enjoy the journey more and not be as concerned about the destination. I CHOOSE not to worry or allow myself to become so stressed...because God has never failed me yet and I know all the struggles in life only prepare me further to be the woman of God He has called me to be. I challange you to try to focus on the positive aswell. Don't let the devil steal your joy. You could be missing out on all the awesome things God has prepared for you to experience that day regardless of whether your in the "wasteland" or in the "promise land".